I’m sure I’m not the only one who knows she should go, but always finds an excuse no to go to the gym. I’m giving you my 5 most used excuses to stay my ass at home and not even feel guilty about it, while downing a pint of ice cream or a Hagen Daaz chocolate almond bar. Let me just put the real number one reason out there first. The number one reason I never make it to the gym is basically because I’m lazy, but let’s leave that one out of the list and start with the 5th.
5. My hair is done and I have an important something tomorrow and I just can’t sweat it out! – Girls with long, curly, frizzy, hard to manage, or any other type of hair will understand me more than those that are blessed with miraculous, didn’t have to do anything to it, hair, like my mother. I don’t always go to the salon to get it done, most times I fix my hair myself, blow it out, flat iron it, soft curls, whatever the real point here is when I spend time on my hair to make it look like I’m going to a photo shoot, I’m going to protect it! And since I’m protecting it because I obviously have to look presentable at work, or I’m going out with my drop dead gorgeous girls, or I’m going on a date (cough cough*which almost never happens), I can’t go to the gym and sweat it out. I spent an hour on it, I’m not letting my hard work go to waste. You understand right? How could I possibly mess up my hair by going to the gym.
4. I can’t work out while I’m full! – I get home from work starving every single day. My stomach is programmed to growl every day from 5:30-6 so that I feed it and there’s really not much else I can think about until I satisfy it. So once I get home and eat a well rounded meal I am just too full to go anywhere. My room calls out to me, my bed seduces me, and so I end up plopping down on it and watching TV. You understand don’t you? You can’t possibly work out on a full stomach.
3. How could I possibly go to the gym on an empty stomach? – I always eat a light lunch because I get full easily , so by dinner time I am always hungry. Actually Hungry is an understatement, my stomach is so angry with me before dinner, it stabs me, yelling die! And indeed I feel like dying, (pause for dramatic effect). Then I get home and I don’t want to walk my dog before eating -even though I know the poor bastard probably has a full tank – because he’s impeding my arrival to a hot plate of food. I always walk him first though. I love him that much!. So how could I possibly go to the gym with these stabbing pains, I could pass out! I could be running on the treadmill fall and look like this!
2. I walked to the supermarket, that counts right? Whenever I walk anywhere excessively, lift things repeatedly, dance, play some random type of sport, do anything that involves physical movement other than just normal moving, I technically worked out. I’m burning some calories. I walked from my house to the supermarket, that is about five blocks, and I sped walk! so that can count as exercise for the day. Or I taught my brother how to dance salsa, that counts, I wrestled with my cousin, that counts, I went to the beach and swam, that counts, I went up and down the stairs three times, that counts. It all counts right? So why do I need to go to the gym my house is a gym! It all counts!
And finally my most used reason, the one that everyone uses, and don’t even lie you know you’ve used number 1.However, some people actually do follow through with it and some simply don’t. I’m that half of the people that does not follow through. Here is my number one reason.
1. I’m too tired today, I’ll go tomorrow -This one never fails. I will forever be going to the gym tomorrow. That unknown future is filled with goals I have yet to achieve, the gym will remain in that list, and will likely be the one I skip over every time. I’m just always too damn tired…(yet I go to sleep at 12am everyday and hang out with friends for hours). Understand that my day consists of extreme movements, (sitting at a desk dealing with legal papers and clients) and I just can’t manage to get home, eat, and then finish up what’s left of my energy in the gym. How do you gym people do it? Well I can’t! Or I can, but then how will I be up early for work the next day. If I go to the gym I’ll be super exhausted and I’m already tired from my day at work, so I shouldn’t go to the gym and ruin my after work routine (remember, throwing myself on my bed, watching TV, and eating ice cream) and then fall asleep at my desk the next day. It makes sense right, a good worker is better than a physically healthy person right? Yep, so I’ll go tomorrow. As a matter of fact, I will work out this weekend… Haha.
Words About Words 